Homeless Child

16 March 2006

Too sad for anything. Met kwangyi in hougang. He ate dinner, i watched him eat. Then came mahjiong session at Derek's place. I obliged. Mahjiong the best way to keep my mind occupied. Called you at the stroke of mid night, just to wish u a happy birthday, and to hear your voice which i missed. Luck was on my side, surprisingly. Won couple of bucks. Went for supper, and stayed over at kwangyi's place. Btw, hope your wish can come true in no time. Unless you din make one.

17 March 2006

Woke up in the morning, happy to see your reply. Replied you, but got nothing in return. Guessed you're busy. Maybe busy thinking of where to go and what to do with zesin. Perhaps so. Went to play billard, went ktv, went dinner, then mahjiong again. Was really happy dingyi came to meet the both of us, though he was sick. My handphone was quiet the whole day. Not even a call from mummy when i was'nt even home the night before. Stayed over at ding's house, planning to go home the next morning.

18 March 2006

It's a beautiful weekend. But a dateless weekend is dreadful. I took leave on 16 & 17, hoping that there would be outings, or just even a short meet up. Guess it's not coming. If i foresee that this would happen, i rather go work to keep myself busy, and useful. I planned, yes i planned to bring you to disney on ice, even before you wrote in your blog that you wanted to go. Im serious. But i put off the idea days back when i felt that things are not going the way i hoped for. No disney on ice. Maybe some other dream prince might bring you there. Maybe.

You called. Surprisely. Activated me out for lunch. Have i ever rejected you? Felt like a subsitute again, after you failed to get suan, im your next alternative. Can't i be the first you think of and try to date? Anyway, was happy i was able to eat lunch with you, cause i get to see you. Had dinner with you too. Then you played Mario!! And then came your attitude dad. Can just die. Journey on the train back was horrible. Tears were at the rim of my eyes. But i controlled myself. I don't cry in public, unless i really cannot control it. Thought of you and zesin, just cant help it. I dunnoe if i should give up. Should i? I was thinking, maybe you will still get to see this blog eventually, but not as my gf. Maybe as a memory bank that reflects what went on these few months. Maybe just that. Any idea why i was sad these few days? Know why i planned leave specially on 16 & 17 March? I don't take leave to play mahjiong. Had plans. Plans which i had to cancel cause the time is just wrong. Everything seems wrong to me. Its bad. I just want to be happy. I want you to be happy. The best is having you with me, and both of us happy. But is that possible??

19 March 2006

Day started off by doing community service at Bukit Panjang Plaza by selling some lucky draw tickets. Started off badly, but as time pass and experiences gained from failures, it appeared that it is'nt so difficult after all. You were at home doing projects. Then you wanted to cut hair, but your hairdresser was not around, thus no haircut for you. Cheer up!! Can always cut another mahz. You went out with suan and junkai. I dunnoe to where, cause all my msges to you sort of din get quick, positive responses. I was sian. Alone. So went Suntec with senior and her 2 girl friends. Called you. Msged you. No responses. Guess you were asleep. Hope im right. Glad you finally replied after 2 hours. You fell asleep.